I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
