His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
