Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
