piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
