Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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