So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
