I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
