ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
