I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
