omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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