I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
