Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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