"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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