You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
