As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
