Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
