you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize