Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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