Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
