He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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