Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
