woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
