is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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