I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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