There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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