he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do vagina's smell?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Green mimosas i think yes
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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