Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
