Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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