I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
