after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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