As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
