My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.