Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
