Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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