If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
