I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
