Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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