I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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