trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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