I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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