Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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