i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
