My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
