She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
