I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i would punch a child for taco bell
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
