is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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