FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
