i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
