look no pants
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
