I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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