dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize