He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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