I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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