"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
