New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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