It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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