Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
