trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
