My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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