My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
